Idle Hands

Note to Self:

Do not, I repeat, do not take a week off from work without having plans for at least 95% of the time.  Sitting around the house alone for days on end is not good for your self-esteem.

Food (Porn)ography

Note to Self:

Do NOT watch the Food Network when they are showing those yummy desserts.  Your willpower cannot handle it, especially when you are down in the dumps. Put down those chocolate chips!

Beauty is in the Eye

Note to Self:
Stop wearing liquid eyeliner until the forecast high for the day is below 80 degrees. Wandering around in public with a black line half way between your brow and eyeball is not a good look if you want to attract men.

Telephone Tell-a Friend

Note to Self:
If you don't want the neighbors knowing about your love life, stop telling your mother about it.  It's one thing if strangers you'll never meet know about it.  It's quite another when you have to field questions at a BBQ.

Rules

Note to Self:
Stick to your Rule #5 of Dating.  Guys who "don't watch TV" or "don't have cable" are probably douchebags.

Postive

Note to Self:
Next time I'm feeling down about dating or being single, remember the compliments freely given by men instead of the idiots who rejected me.

Booze

Note to Self:
Beer goggles apply to online dating as well as real life.  Proceed with caution.

Dining Options

Note to Self:
Buy some meat next time you go to the grocery store.  If you plan to keep a man around the house, this foodstuff will be essential to most meals or snacks.

Foodie

Note to Self:
Avoid red onions at all cost.  They are never worth the aftermath.

Yikes

Note to Self:
Try not to date a guy with the same first name as someone else in your family.  The reasons should be obvious.

Temptation

Note to Self:
Throw away all candy, pastries, or cookies in the house.  Your willpower is not as strong as you think.

Online Dating

Note to Self:
Do not email, wink, or otherwise communicate with a guy who has a shirtless photo of himself on his profile.  He clearly already loves himself enough for both of you.

Family

Note to Self:
Remember to thank your parents for sending you to school and not having a stripper pole in their bedroom.

Communication

Note to Self:

Remember that you don't always have to get the last text in.  The conversation would have been better with one less message anyway.

Dress Code

Note to Self:
Learn which shades of green are acceptable to wear on St. Patrick's Day in order to avoid hearing about it from the coworkers.  Apparently, not all greens are created equal.

In the Kitchen

Note to Self:
Get Ziploc containers. Tupperware is too expensive to let get so moldy you have to hold back your bile to get it out of the fridge.